Thursday, January 7, 2010

That heavy feeling in the tum tum

Recently I've been robbed folks. Robbed of moments to stop and reflect, robbed of the chance to even think about being in the "present moment" and robbed of experiencing the joy of the others in my life. Sounds drastic doesn't it? Perhaps, but to me it feels like such weight in my stomach.

These past weeks have been whirling by and I have been holding on to the tip of it, like holding on to the tail of a running dinosaur (had to use that animal as an example because my house is dinoland), just passing by all of the truly meaningful experiences without being able to just stop and rest or stop and soak life in. Right now; since Christmas, I'm rushed through all of the daily processes until that last couple of hours where I can even think about slowing down to enjoy my children, husband and home before bed.

I am frustrated and feel like I can't stop that running dinosaur but I also can't let go. Either I have horrible time management skills or I am spread way too thin. I can work on the time management the best I can but work is a bear. I'm now doing the jobs of three with a new (but way more pleasant thank goodness) boss that emails me every 5 minutes with additional questions and requests. Eating lunch now is a process of inhaling food while working. Today, I decided to blog during my lunch whether the walls fell down around me or not.

I just want to cook people. Cook and spend time with my family and even take a little care of myself in there somewhere. What's going on right now is the rushed processes of chores and work, not tending to myself, enjoying every moment with my children or experiencing the life I want to live. Sure, this too shall pass and all will be easier later and I am not the only spread thin working mom out there, but I have to say...this sucks man!

I have a couple of recipes to post. I hope to post to you soon.


athomewiththeknights said...

I'm sorry, mama. Being spread wayyy to thin is not good. Time to call in the troops. Tell Chris how he can help you, tell whomever you need to how they can help you. I hope things calm down for you soon. Hopefully Bessie will be fixed soon, and we'll meet up at our favorite bookstore.

Best Wishes, Marie said...

short on time now, but glad to see you are ... sorta up and running. sorta.

Polly said...

Gosh i so know how you feel. I hope it gets better for you.