While I'm at work, I tend to listen to the Martha Stewart channel on Sirius radio online. Yes, I'm a nerd. I do listen to music every now and then, just depends on the mood. Usually though, I would rather listen to topics on food, gardening and home keeping while I work. Keeps my spirits up.
There's also this cheerful little career coach that has a small show on Martha's channel. Her name is Maggie Mistal and she's very upbeat and positive about how the importance in your career is not the financial destination, but achievement of inner happiness. She says that continuing to work somewhere just to make ends meet without feeling that sense of personal fulfillment is a waste of precious time in life. She claims that even in this rough economy, change can happen if you really want it.
She's so right. I know she is. I've known that all along. Yet, what am doing?
I am thankful to have a job. I really am. But I'm stuck in a square office without windows under bright fluorescent lights for 9 hours a day plugging away on subject matter that means absolutely nothing to me personally. Don't get me wrong, I do my best to do good work - always, but I'm only here for the money to survive. Period. I shutter at the thought of doing this forever until retirement. I have co-workers much older than me, unhappy and trapped. I can't let this be my fate.
Why am I stuck here? Because I'm scared. What if I take a risk and it ends up going horribly wrong?
Maggie says in order for the plan to work you must: "Soul search, research, then job search." In that order. I'm in the infant stages of soul search right now and I'm not finding it very easy. I can't just pin any of my dreams, passions and inspirations down to one thing yet. I'm all over the place. That honestly scares me too. Why can't I just find "it" and say "Yes, I love making or doing __________!" I love a lot of things, one in particular hasn't hit me like a Mack truck yet and said to me "This is your calling girl!"
I have been waiting for a sign, or a nudge or something. Perhaps I'm not seeing them and they are all right in front of me. Maybe instead of me telling America to take their blinders off, I should give it a try myself.
I'm working on my soul search list where I'm writing down the things that I enjoy, people I admire and feelings I get with them. Hopefully I can find my answer and be able to move on to the research stage.
For all of this to work I'm guessing somewhere in between soul search, research and job search I'll have to do a fear search and give it a swift kick in the ass.