I really have to consider myself lucky because I'm quite sure I've been given more than just a second chance at changing my life. I sometimes get the hint the first time and change immediately and without much of a problem with some and with others I'm more stubborn or lazy about it and need a few kicks in the ass to get the message.
Of course there were those that were beyond my control (such as a failed organ that needed to be removed) and I needed help. It so helped.
Right now; at this very moment, I am doing ok and I am so happy about it.
So why do I feel so out of sorts? I feel so tired still and it seems I just can't get back into a groove again. I need to dust off my camera and use it, I need to make some new and post worthy foods, I need to reconnect with friends (Janet, I miss you!), I need to get out of the house, I need to get back on my regular exercise schedule and most of all get centered again (organized basically).
If I can just get started back up on one item, the others should fall back into place. The best way to stop feeling so tired is to exercise regularly - which I know doesn't sound right, but it's true. I guess I need to slap myself around some and do it regardless of how chaotic my household is.
Let me jump out of myself and say that it's probably not as chaotic as my mind makes it seem. I need to lighten up on life. I'm so stiff....so square.
I have to turn off that "I have so much to do, not enough time to do it but I'm so tired so I'll do it tomorrow" recording I keep replaying in my head.
So yes, I'm still here. I just need to kick myself in the ass and get back to it before my lack of movement and motivation causes me to return to the dark side. I wish my pal Janet lived closer to me or I to her, so that she could give me a swift kick. I need it.